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Graduation Day

Today, after another top-notch ultrasound, we graduated from our infertility clinic to the midwives, from weekly trips to downtown Chicago to infrequent trips across the neighborhood. At 8 weeks, our soon-to-be-fetus’ heart rate was 170 bpm and measured at 16mm. Or, as the nurse told the trainee who was also in the ultrasound room, “It’s [...]

Double Up

As the news of our pregnancy was shared with our inner circle, I found myself repeating the phrase, “But it’s really early, so anything can happen,” over and over again. And while it is a scientifically true statement, it also, I realized, was largely due to the fact that I feel like this all came [...]

Marley and Me Too

There’s a scene about 30 minutes into the film, “Marley and Me”, when the characters played by Owen Wilson and Jennifer Aniston go to the OB for an ultrasound between weeks nine and ten of their first pregnancy. Jelly is applied, the wand is whisked across her barely pregnant belly, and the ultrasound technician discovers [...]

Shrimp Baby, Birthday Puppy and the Good Door

Our baby is now the size of medium shrimp and, if said baby is a girl, she already has more than 2 million eggs in her ovaries. If she’s anything like her mom and dad, she should guard those suckers like bricks of plutonium-wrapped gold – they will come in very handy one day. All [...]

Baby’s 1st Apple … Donut

Tedium had begun to establish itself as the norm around the Miller house due to Constance’s nausea and exhaustion. Even the thought of collapsing onto the sofa for a day of football seemed an unwelcome idea because I was stir crazy for life outside of our condo walls. My only escapes were running, work and [...]

The Hand That Rocks the Ladle

I’ve tried to be supportive – to let go of my dietary snobbery in the name of pregnancy cravings – but I can no longer talk to the hand, let alone eat with him.
Hamburger Helper remains the #1 eatable food for Constance, which is a challenge for me primarily because I don’t like processed foods. [...]

Man On First

After 9 months of attempted conception sans pregnancy Constance and I knew something about our reproductive organs were slightly left of center. Because I assumed it was my fault – a natural progression of events due to my prior obesity – I wanted to be the first one tested. It wasn’t the only reason, mind [...]

Nice Day for a White Wedding, With or Without Gray Heels

Our first major social event of the pregnancy era was the wedding of my lifelong friend. Mary Fons got married, and as it turned out our ill-timed mall trip last weekend in preparation for the big day was only the precursor to a much more frustrating and ill-timed bout of those same dastardly retail emotions.
Only [...]

A Fro-Yo Freakout

“Matty, I think I just did something really stupid,” Constance said in lieu of a proper greeting in response to my playful, “Hello, beautiful.”
“What’s wrong?” I asked as my heart began to thumb its way down into my stomach, thudding rapidly enough to cause instant nausea. I dropped my koi-fish covered messenger bag onto the [...]

We Got the Beat

“Wanna hear the baby’s heartbeat?” Dr. Wos asked. “I didn’t think we’d get to do that today because I didn’t know you were 11 weeks already. But now is the perfect time. Just let me go grab the Doppler.”
As her white lab coat fluttered past my face, the breeze of her movement blowing me back [...]