Hazel isn’t a dumb dog – I am a dumb dog owner. Or, I should say, a dumb second-time dog owner.
When Marcy was knee deep in puppyhood, times were tough for the Millers. Destructive to both our goods and bodies, it was unsafe to walk the hallways of our home sans shoes, sleep with both [...]
Filed under: When I'm a Dad ... | 15 Comments »
I’ll keep my Wal-Mart opinions to myself, but I couldn’t ignore the fact that as of today, infertile couples across the U.S. can fill their Clomid prescriptions for less than the price of two venti lattes.
And no matter if you think this “superstore” forces the demise of local merchants or that they’re royalty because they [...]
Filed under: Doctor, Doctor | 14 Comments »
Fiction is my favorite form of writing, and my voracious need to read phony tales of veiled truth has followed me from childhood into my late 20’s. Rarely, however, do I connect with the characters or the calamitous situations featured in my favorite novels (Old School, The Secret Life Of Bees, Madame Bovary, The Picture [...]
Filed under: Husband & Wife, When I'm a Dad ... | 11 Comments »
Unwanted periods and the lives of prospective parents don’t have an obvious cause-effect relationship. We’ve been known to eat our way to freedom and hibernate our way to positivism, but of the myriad options available this time we opted for mass consumerism.
Spending money – signing receipts and filling plastic bags – alleviates sadness for me [...]
Filed under: Diversions, Husband & Wife | 12 Comments »
We haven’t taken a pregnancy test in a really long time because we haven’t had one good reason to waste $10 that wasn’t going to supply us fancy ice cream or feed my iTunes addiction. Dr. Reya gives us a date by which, if Constance’s period has not arrived, we are to take a test [...]
Filed under: Husband & Wife, News from the Parent Front | 28 Comments »
Today I’m too busy to blog, and with Constance emailing me at least four times in the last two hours asking, “When will your blog be updated?” I finally replied, “You do it! I’m swamped!”
And so, for the first time ever, she did. Has there ever been a more wonderful woman? Sorry ladies - the [...]
Filed under: Baby Prep | 16 Comments »
High school was a very, very long time ago. Ten years and 260 pounds to be exact, and it was the last time I received an award that didn’t have “financial aid” in the title (an “award” I’ll be paying through my teeth for during the next 20 years). And be it in recognition of [...]
Filed under: Diversions, When I'm a Dad ... | 23 Comments »
Food is the Doppler radar of the Miller household, and when our internal weather turns nasty the wreckage is intense. We can split a pizza, we can go halvsies on a 1/2-gallon of ice cream and we can order enough Thai food to encourage our delivery person to include six pairs of chopsticks in the [...]
Filed under: Husband & Wife | 14 Comments »
It’s a strange day here in Chicago, and no matter how you slice it life is a bit unbalanced.
Constance had her progesterone levels measured today and Dr. Reya claimed they were, “great!” So if there is no period in a week, we take a pregnancy test. We are not the couple that takes a test [...]
Filed under: Uncategorized | 7 Comments »
Until the postal worker delivered our mail yesterday afternoon our insurance company had covered every expense on our baby quest save for a few co-payments here and there. We consumed two-hundred dollar ultrasounds like rappers in jewelry boutiques dropping dough on diamonds. Inexplicably expensive blood tests and injectibles were not a concern because Blue Cross [...]
Filed under: Doctor, Doctor | 6 Comments »