So my friend, Tim, here at the office brought to my attention this morning that Diablo Cody, Oscar-winning screenwriter of “Juno”, is in fact someone I know. Odd thing is, I had no idea I knew her until he IM’d me and I began to dig a hole on the Internet.
Born in 1978, same [...]
Filed under: Diversions, News from the Parent Front | 9 Comments »
Until Constance forced me to sit down in front of a Windows-based PC the other day, I had no idea that my blog looked like total garbage. I use a Mac, and on a Mac it looks like a blog. Nothing extraordinary, just a blog with my bald head, some thought bubbles, and an REM [...]
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Often I find myself wondering, for long stretches of time, “Where does the time go?” The past 4 days was not one of those stretches.
Constance’s colonoscopy took forever to complete but in the end it was a victory. Nothing of note to report, which is exactly what I was hoping for as they wheeled [...]
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Before departing home this morning en route to the office I made one large pitcher of lemon chamomile iced tea and one large pitcher of Crystal Light raspberry green tea. I would have made a giant pot of coffee, too, but Constance didn’t think she wanted any coffee if she couldn’t add any cream.
“I’ll [...]
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We visited Dr. Reya yesterday morning and I’m happy to report that following another squirmy ultrasound, Constance is now cyst-free. She found out on the same day Susan, her mother, had her colon cancer surgery. Hopefully she too will be free as of Friday.
“So talk to me about that sperm count,” Dr. Reya [...]
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It’s a good thing I didn’t get too hopeful or else I might have been devastated now that Constance’s period has arrived. You know someday our baby is going to stick, and someday peeing on a stick might actually yield something more than more recyclable waste (they are recyclable, no?). Maybe that will happen next [...]
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I placed our second negative pregnancy test in the lid of the empty pot sticker container and began to eat my garlic noodles. Valentine’s Day was a quiet affair in the Miller house, and had it not landed on the final night before my book was due we would have at least made a [...]
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Apparently it was just what the Internet doctor ordered. Following 3 record-low months, two counts collected via inseminations and one via semen analysis, each resulting in a sperm count of 1.8-2 million, I have made a miraculous recovery. I was down for the count, sucker-punched by a dirty opponent, but I have picked [...]
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What most likely was Constance’s period showed up to work on Monday afternoon and then decided to take Tuesday off for a much needed vaginal vacation. I know what you’re thinking and sadly, it is not true. We took a pregnancy test last night and it was a big, fat, single line. It would have [...]
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“Uh-uh. Sorry. Too late. No semen after noon. Sorry.”
“Excuse me,” I yelled, fresh from the bathroom at Dr. Sharp’s office, semen sample in-hand. Maria, the scrunchy faced woman working admissions pushed my sample back across the desk and never once looked me in the eye.
There was no varicocele and no [...]
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