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Double Up

As the news of our pregnancy was shared with our inner circle, I found myself repeating the phrase, “But it’s really early, so anything can happen,” over and over again. And while it is a scientifically true statement, it also, I realized, was largely due to the fact that I feel like this all came too easily.

It’s not news to anyone that we had to work really hard to achieve our first pregnancy, but I don’t think I realized how jaded to the process I had become until now. It’s not that I expect something to go wrong, it’s just that my mind and body have been infiltrated by constant worry because my experiences with reproduction have clouded my judgment. I worry about Constance and the embryo without end.

When we got the good news call from our IVF clinic, we also found out the Constance’s progesterone level was a little low. “This happens sometimes with frozen transfers because the body isn’t producing as much as it is after a fresh cycle,” our nurse said. All it meant was we had to drive to Lincoln Park to pick up progesterone shots that I must administer, intramuscular shots, every other day.

Nevertheless, I latched onto this news with constant concern and spastic abandon. The first night’s shot was hectic to say the least. I was so frazzled I couldn’t even get the medicine loaded up into the needle.

“You realize you’re about to inject me with air, right?” Constance asked, noticing that the needle was indeed without progesterone.

“Fuck,” I shouted, shaking nervously. “I’m not trying to kill you, I swear. I just can’t seem to do this.”

“Here, let me,” Constance said, taking the needle from my trembling hands and filling it up without hesitation.

Then came her time to freak out as I prepared to bury a 1-1/2″ needle into her backside. I drew a target on her lower back with a green Sharpie, drew back the plunger and bingo! Success.

“That was awesome,” Constance said. “Do it just like that and it won’t be an issue. Mess up though, and it will be all your fault.”

Today, Constance went into the lab to have her blood work done again and both her hCG and progesterone levels have doubled. Which means I will worry a little less. That is until Monday, when she goes in to get them measured again.

Can we just skip ahead to the second trimester already before I give myself a bloody ulcer??

5 Responses to “Double Up”

  1. Try not to worry too much. I had to get the shot everyday for 10 weeks with a fresh cycle. Needless to say, my back side is still sensitive and that was early 2006. I would do it all over again too! Good luck with everything!

  2. Oh golly, those IM shots are a bitch. We had a video showing how to find the sweet spot to administer the shot (hand on hip, rotate out, in the “V” between the spread fingers), where it wasn’t supposed to hurt much. Eight weeks into incredibly painful daily shots, we finally clued into the fact that the combination of hubby’s large hands (he’s 6′ 4″) and my small frame (I’m 5′4″), we were completely stabbing in the “bordering this zone is a sensitive area, shots administered here can be exquisitely painful” spot. Sorry that you and Candace have to do this. Can she get vaginal suppositories instead? Lots more inconvenient and messy, but also lots less painful.

  3. Thanks for the backside pain concern all! Two shots down and M is doing a great job. I’m glad he’s not using the hand-techninque b/c we would be in the same boat - does not sound fun AT ALL. I have been and will continue to also be on the suppositories for several week so the IM is to crack it up instead of replacing those.

  4. I was away so I missed when you posted this before, but I’m so happy to hear your news! I was thinking about you while I was away and it was the first blog I checked after coming home.

    And if you ever figure out how to stop worrying, please let me know how. I always say that the best thing about it is that there’s nothing you can do either way to influence the outcome (beyond monitoring the hormones and stuff). And the worst thing about is that there’s nothing you can do either way to influence the outcome.

    I haven’t had to do the prog shots, but I’ve heard they are not fun at all. I hope you can stop doing them at the earliest possible time!

  5. SO glad they foud this early, as I had low progesterone with both of my first two pregnancies, which led to early miscarriages. When I tried a third time to get pregnant, they put me on progesterone cream. The very first month, I got pregnant with my twins and had no further problems but they did keep me on the cream until I was like twenty weeks along. Will Constance have to keep getting progesterone shots or just this one? Will keep praying for you and glad things are going well….

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