The tan duvet cover was pulled up under my bristly chin as one of my favorite episodes of “King of the Hill” played in the background. Constance and I both were laying on our left sides, spooning and laughing – laughing not at the dry, Americana wit of our favorite television clan, but because laughing seems to be the only emotional response our bodies can emote now that we are pregnant.
As everybody who has ever dealt with infertility knows, you spend the entire time balancing your hopes and aspirations with the reality at-hand. Staying level-headed about your chance at conception means holding yourself at arm’s length from anything that remotely smells like baby planning. Now that we’re here with a positive test, which is still at a sizable distance from comfort, I can’t stop laughing every time I think about making a baby-based decision.
Thankfully, for now, it’s too soon to start making major decisions, so instead we’re going to focus on doing some of the tasks we’ve been meaning to do anyway. First we celebrated with some of our closest friends. Now we’re preparing to clean out closets, invest in storage for said closets and find a good place to put the fun-yet-cumbersome Rock Band peripherals. (Where does one store a miniature drum set anyway?) And of course, we’ll keep laughing, which is what got us through the last 26 months to begin with.
Even though I can’t find words to express where I am or about what I’m thinking, I can’t bring myself to stress or worry about anything at this point. I’d rather laugh and enjoy something that doesn’t yet seem possible.
On the night before we found out the results of our pregnancy test, however, I had a lot to say. I had an interview with Dr. Kevin Keough to promote my book, which is now a podcast. It was a lot of fun, and I hope you all download it, listen and pass it along to others. I’ve got to get the promotion train rolling - my book is out September 2nd!
You can download the podcast from any of these places: