Ha!! Give her a kiss from Grandma & Grandpa...A Room with an Ovulation
Ovulation obviously has a sense of humor or else it wouldn’t have placed Constance and me in separate twin beds less than 50 feet from my in-laws’ bedroom on egg-delivery weekend. Either that, or it simply has the lousy timing bestowed upon such annoyances as the cast of One Tree Hill and indigestion.
Here in North Carolina, things are slower, the men dress in polo shirts sans popped-collars (we city folk flip for fun) and the women paint their toenails a pink so pastel that I’m often overcome by the urge to Easter-egg hunt their toes. But even proper Southern decency and thin walls will not keep us from our end goal, so persist we must: just very, very quietly.
In the flurry and fury of modern air travel, I nearly forgot that we were due for an egg drop, which is something I’ve been closely monitoring over the past year. After our visit to the fertility specialist, we both began to focus all thoughts of conception toward the future, as if a few pelvic exams and blood analyses would blow the whistle on our stalemate. What we didn’t think about was the possibility that this month could be the month – I think we’ve stopped believing in our ability to create a child the good old-fashioned, down-home way.
>My in-laws, Richard and Susan, have been enormously hospitable this weekend, welcoming us with enough open arms and open wine bottles to remove our minds from infertility. Beyond their generosity, they have listened, for the first time, to our tales of baby-making woe.
“Well, if it’s any consolation, I’m still menstruating, and I’m 54,” Susan said as a rollicking thunderstorm stomped through the humid afternoon.
“Gee, thanks,” Constance said, equally repulsed by the ideas of aged parenthood and eternal menstruation. I was repulsed only by the idea of my mother-in-law’s menstrual cycle.
As Susan read my blog for the first time on the morning of Mother’s Day – leafing through scads of printed paper because her eyes can’t handle the strain of computer reading – she looked up, slightly teary, and said, “Constance I’m so sorry you’ve had to deal with this.”
As always, the reoccurring surprise of openness is that in removing one small, locked gate, you sometimes create a revolving door by which love and understanding have a path to return.
Which is good, because now I feel less bad about pushing those twin beds together.
Filed under: Husband & Wife, News from the Parent Front
We look so rosy in that second picture. It’s amazing how alcohol gives the you that “just took a brisk walk” look. Totally healthy.
What a lovely fandamily. The month we conceived our son (and I must say that we were very lucky it was only in our second month of trying, which was a pretty big mindf*ck so I can’t imagine how awful it must be trying for a year or more), I was pretty sure the egg dropped and the huz and I promptly had a big fight. I thought all was lost and was complaining about it to the next day to a friend, who pointed out that I COULD try again. So I bought strawberries and whipped cream and red wine on the way home, and two weeks later, Bob was gonna be an uncle.
And I think I’m about to be really obnoxious, so I apologize in advance, but my friend went through years of infertility, went through all the pokes and invasive procedures and finally gave up exhausted. Except they didn’t quite give up, they went to a naturopathic doctor, who prescribed some supplements and dietary changes and within 3 months, I think, she was pregnant.
Fingers crossed…
Super-quiet sex in the in-laws’ house… how you do bring back the memories! My husband and I once went at it on the floor of his childhood bedroom because the bed was too squeaky. Come to think of it, he wasn’t my husband yet… (I know, shocking.) I had been assigned to his brother’s bedroom next door. There was post-bedtime room swapping afoot!
Ahh, youth.
Hi Matthew- found your blog through Mel.
I’m happy that sharing with your in-laws was a positive experience.
It’s amazing how “doing it” in our parents’ homes (even after marriage) still feels dirty. But I hope it does the trick!
I hope you rocked those twin beds!
So does it make it more dirty now knowing that you MIL is likely to continue to read this blog and see how you two christened the twin beds?
I hope it worked though for you. If it did, you know everyone will be stopping by their inlaws for a little twin-bed nookie…
Yup, been there, done that. For us, it was on Christmas (and the angels were singing). And we had a few more problems that I won’t go into here–suffice it to say that my husband has been on a medication that sometimes makes it, er, more difficult to do the deed than normal. So we’re trying for some afternoon delight, and we hear my mother walk past our door into her office across the hall to do some bill-paying. My poor husband was just besides himself. I’m not sure anyone could perform under those circumstances.
*laughing* Ah, the lengths to which we will go in pursuit of that elusive baby. Actual sentence once uttered by me: ‘We can’t fight now, I’m ovulating.’
I’m glad you could use your blog to give your MIL some insight into what you and Constance have been going through… although I’m sure she’s washing the guest-bed sheets in hot water and bleach today!
I’m still laughing over “easter egg hunting their toes…”
Those trips are the worst because you’ve got to casually mention how tired you are starting at 8 p.m. so you can casually stroll back to the bedroom and commence in silence. My favourite part is my MIL wedding picture above the bed. Nothing like having her looking down at us, eternally smiling with a handful of flowers…
My in-laws have mercilessly put their guest beds on wheels, and have NO carpeting at all. So, there would be no subtlety to any BDing over there!
Also, your quote about “the reoccurring surprise of openness is that in removing one small, locked gate, you sometimes create a revolving door by which love and understanding have a path to return.” So beautifully put!
Love the pictures–and dont you be knockin us North Carolina folk too much=) Ohhh the irony of “egg” time and the challenges it presents us!
Just laughing thinking about you two on the twin beds with the paper thin walls… excellent timing as always by that pesky egg!
Well well well…. my first manly commentor! Thanks so much for stopping by! I hope all goes well with your condo, and that it will get the ball rolling for you, so to speak!
You write very well BTW.
You’re hilarious! Love your posts.
Gotta love ovulation’s timing.
Helena was conceived in a twin-bed. Maybe that’s the trick?
Too funny. And if this turns out the be *the* month you’ll have a great story to recount one day to the little result(s) [twin beds = twins?]
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