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Feelings Aren’t Facts, but I’m Getting Warmer

Daydreaming can be a dangerous endeavor, especially when one begins reaching, via the mind, for those things believed to be physically elusive. But ever since the ride home from a USTA tennis league match last night with my amazing neighbor, Karen, I’ve been high, and it’s not just because I’ve been on Vicodin for the last 24 hours (I have a mysterious ankle injury).

Lake Shore DriveKaren is a throwback – the kind of woman who sips cocktails in the afternoon, studies French for the fun of it and will go to any length to help a friend in need. Her help last night arrived during a winding, North-bound trip up Lake Shore Drive. After griping about our dilapidated playing surface, which gave more bad bounces than a square ball, we dished about the end of our current ovulation cycle and the vicious act of icing my testicles.

“That must be fairly uncomfortable,” she said. “How often and for how long do you have to do that?”

“An hour a day for the entire week leading up to ovulation.” We talked about the many fertility facts I’ve discovered during the process: sperm starts to “dissolve” after three days inside of a man, but can live for up to five inside of a woman. Having sex on ovulation day is practically useless because the egg will be shriveled by the time the sperm arrives – it’s best to have some waiting for it.

Karen and I laughed ferociously in the face of our dilemma, but laughed even hardier when repeatedly sidetracked by suave poseurs attempting to bridge middle age using nothing but a convertible and a several bottles of hair product. Chicago’s lakeside strip is known for it’s fast cars, voracious athletes and the cocky, smarmy men engaged in both.

“Well, I have to tell you that I’ve got a great feeling about you guys,” Karen said after the laughter subsided. “You know, you both checked out with no problems. I really think it’s going to happen soon.”

“Thanks, Karen. I really appreciate hearing that.”

“Well, it’s true. I just know it’s going to happen soon.”

I didn’t want to tell her, or anyone for that matter, but I’ve been sporting that feeling, too. I just have this feeling that we’re going to be pregnant by Christmas. And while I know that what’s true in the political sphere is true in the personal realm – feelings aren’t facts, and no amount of goodwill can compensate for proof – I persist.

And if I’m wrong, and if you find me foolish, I totally respect your feelings. But we’ve got nothing to lose and a baby to gain. I’m putting my hypothesis, and Karen’s, out for the world to do with it what it may.

I’m tired of living cautiously, and I’m far better at fearlessness.

23 Responses to “Feelings Aren’t Facts, but I’m Getting Warmer”

  1. I have a good feeling about you two too, and I don’t even know you. Let it all hang out! (Oh dear… I gotta be careful what I say on a blog like this… not THAT way.)

  2. Good feelings headed your way from sunny Southern California!!

  3. woohoo, cheers to feeling good about things!

  4. More power to ya… Live, love, laugh LARGE!!! It will happen!!

  5. A positive attitude never hurts :-)

  6. Doesn’t sound too foolish. There’ll be plenty of time for worry if - and only if - it’s warranted. No need to invite it in.

    (Although I do want to pass a note to Karen telling her to go easy on the “just knows”. The “just feels” and “just thinks” are one thing, but the “just knows” irritate me greatly, because as you point out, feelin’s aren’t facts, and whilst she can feel/think all she wants, she doesn’t actually “know” shit. She sounds like a great friend, though, so I mean it nicely!)


  7. Matt – you forgot the funniest part of our journey on LSD (that’s Lake Shore Drive for you out-of-towners) – the poseur’s license plate “PAR T GUY”. I almost got a speeding ticket trying to pass him for a good look!

  8. Go with the positive - live it, breathe it, absorb all you possibly can. Come on mind body connection!!!

  9. I totally agree with the above commenter- go with the positive! Can’t hurt, might help…

    Best of luck to you and your wife…I know this must be a tough journey, but as a mom, I can tell you absolutely that the payoff is well worth it.

  10. I must admit the “just know”s irritate me too but here’s hoping you two are pregnant by Christmas.

  11. Hmmm… maybe if I keep reading your blog, some of your positive attitude will rub off on me.

  12. It can be one wild ride when Hope is in your corner! A bit of optimism can go a long way. Good for you two, you sound like a great team!

  13. I also say more power to you. Go with your gut. And I’m hoping alongside you that you’re right.

  14. Have you been reading the The Secret secretly?

    I think positivity is great. Oftentimes, I feel way to negative about this whole crazy babymaking thing when there is nothing to be negative about.

    Hope is good to have and great to share. All the best!

  15. I have discovered your blog by accident, but wanted to say its brilliantly written.

    Its nice to see infertility from a potential Daddy’s perspective for a change! Keep up the good work, and continue long afer the munchkin arrives…I can just imagine what your 3 o’clock feedings would read like ;)

  16. Too many times during this process, we all feel like shit.

    If you feel good, hold on to that. I hope that it lasts and gives great results!

  17. Go fearlessness! Feeling hopeful is never foolish. Heck, in Chicago that’s just about all that gets you through the bitter gray winter — hope that soon you will wake up to a picture perfect sunny day. May your picture perfect day come soon! (And thanks for offering to be my BlogHer buddy! If I go, I’m totally hanging with you.)

  18. I’m new to this blog. I love the positive energy of this post. I’m going to embark on fertility treatment soon and really needed to read this.

    Thanks for taking time and effort to post.

  19. Hey there.

    You visited my blog the other day. I’d been to your blog once before and I’ll try to come around again. I wish you and your dear wife Constance all the best and a positive test soon. I know it sucks to wait and try.

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