About Maybe Baby
My name is Matthew M. F. Miller, and I am a dad. After beginning our journey to conceive in June 2006, my wife Constance and I got saddled with nothing more than a hastily purchased Pottery Barn nursery set and a plethora of negative pregnancy tests until we became pregnant via IVF in July 2008.
I am the author of two books, Dad’s Guide to Pregnancy For Dummies and Maybe Baby: An Infertile Love Story and on the side I am the lead singer of an alt-rock band called Urgency, which sounds a bit like the love child of Tori Amos and R.E.M.
Constance is a research manager for a large non-profit organization. She is also the most beautiful, wonderful, smartest woman I’ve ever met.
Married in August of 2002, we have traversed the country in pursuit of graduate degrees - Constance at the University of Minnesota, me at the University of Southern California - but have since settled in Chicago. Having purchased our first condo right before the real estate market collapsed, we’re living on a strict budget that barely keeps me in iTunes and coffee.
Thanks so much for taking the time to learn a bit about us - I appreciate you reading my work.
Matt,
My wife and I are going to IVF’s also. We like to move to Chicago from Kansas since Illinois mandates insurance companies to cover some IVF’s - 4 IVF tries for your 1st child, 2 tries for your 2nd child. Question-we had an IVF child that was born at 22 weeks (lived for 30 mins), would this be considered a live birth that will count against the 4 tries for a first child? I am hoping you know a lot about how the insurance works in Illinois since you’re from Chicago. Thanks a lot
Dear Matt -
First off happy birthday!
Even though I have have passed through the TTC stages and have been firmly esconced on the other side now for several years as a fellow blogger who dealt with male factor infertility I felt compelled when I stumbled upon your book in the bookstore to buy it (I will admit I bought it used on-line) and I look forward to reading it as very few men have the guts to put their life on line like you have and share their stories. Thank you for doing so.
- Eric (DI Dad to Two))
Hello Matt! My husband & I have been on the TTC roller coaster since May 2007. I picked up your book for the first time at Barnes & Noble the day after Christmas this year. It looked light, funny & I needed to laugh. But mostly I wanted to read a TTC “happy ending”. I just finished it a few days ago & was pretty upset to come to the end of your book, only to realize you were still childless. However, I was full of hope once I got online & came to this blog for the first time & saw that you did IVF & are expecting this spring. Congrats! You give me hope, as we will be doing IVF this Spring. I have been to your blog pretty religiously these last few days, trying to read entries where the book leaves off and waiting for a new entry. I just wanted to say thank you. Your words have made this journey a little less painful. Your wit & way with words is so unique & refreshing! To laugh & realize the you are not the only one going through this is a true gift you have given me. I look forward to 2009 as well! I wish you & Constance nothing but the best for this year to come.
Dear Matt,
I LOVE YOUR BLOG!! My husband and I recently had our first child, a daughter, this past July. I stumbled across your blog while I was pregnant and have been hooked ever since. I want to thank you for giving me something fulfilling to read other than status updates on facebook when I have a spare moment to hop on the internet. You and Constance are an inspiration to so many couples, even those who have already conceived. Your insights and funny quips help us all remember not to take things for granted. I wish you and your wife a happy, healthy Calvin or Nola, and a speedy recovery and adjustment to the new joy that will fill your life. Congrats and keep writing!
Matt,
I found your book while looking for information on dealing with infertility. My husband and I have been trying to get pregnant for 4 years now and male infertility has been our diagnosis. It was nice to see that there are in fact, other people who have walked the path that we are on! I was also left empty with the ending of your book and was so happy to see that you did achieve success with your beautiful daughter! Thank you for your insight and I hope that one day, we will be where you are now!
Matt,
I just wanted to say how much I enjoy reading your blog - you and Constance come across as such warm and lovely people - and of course Nola is so gorgeous it’s worth looking at just to see her cute little face smiling away!
I stumbled across it shortly before we underwent IVF treatment through another fertility blog (can’t remember which one) and reading it gave me hope. We were successful on our first go and now have boy-girl twins, born in August and doing great. It was worth the heartache to get those lovely smiles!
Hi Matt
I just ran a search on Dr. Wos and your blog popped up. What a wonderful read - and you have such a lovely family. Congrats -
Did you like Dr. Wos? Did you like Swedish Convenent? How was the midwife experience? We are early on in our pregnancy and i am not sure which way we want to go in terms of who delivers the baby. Any advice is much appreciated.
Best,
Annie
I usually don’t chime in on this page and I know there are other looming questions above, BUT TO ANNIE, we loved the midwives and if we are fortunate enough to have another baby while in Chicago we will use them again. Amy Graf was absolutely amazing during our birth.
I don’t have too much feedback on Dr. Wos — she is very nice, well respected, and I think might have stayed with her if the twin pregnancy had progressed (midwives cannot take multiples). She also seemed to have a very traditional western medicine approach to the process. That is not the perspective I am most comfortable with and felt much more at home with the midwives, BUT if you are looking for an OB, I would recommend her.
thanks so much!!!
Hi Matt
Just finished reading your book which was a fabulous read. I made myself wait until I finished your book to look up your blog & I was so happy to see some gorgeous pictures of your beautiful Nola. Well done, I am so happy for you both.
Jodie
I just finished reading your book, Maybe Baby, and just am glad to see that you finally were able to have a child. It was a beautiful story, and has a lot of hope for those who are going through the struggles that you two have gone through.
Hope to see more books from you. :]